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Macho Man Memorial Day Madness (2012)
Macho Man Memorial Day Madness 2012 was the second of the Memorial Day Madness series, held on May 29, 2012. The show bridges the events of Diaz's Fuck Fest VIII and In My Ass. Results The second annual Macho Man Memorial Day Madness was certainly a memorable event. The show kicked off with Undertaker hosting a live edition of Cooking with Taker, in which he intended to grill his famous mustard burgers. However, he eventually noticed that his jar of mustard had been replaced by an empty can of Slim Jims. To kick things off in the arena, a Hell in a Cell match-up was held for the Cruiserweight title featuring the likes of champion Nathan DiBiase, Spike Dudley, The Hurricane, Paul London, Tajiri, and Jimmy Hart battle it out for the belt. After Jimmy dove from the top of the Cell, coattails flailing, Tajiri took advantage and brought Cruiserweight gold to WPW. Elsewhere, Walter P. Wiley could not be on hand to congratulate his "little yellow friend" due to the fact that the air in his tires had been replaced by hydrogen. Walter called the best problem solver he could find to handle the situation: Heidenreich. Next up, three teams competed in a Tables match to earn a shot at the Tag Team titles of their choosing. The Natural Disasters squared off against the strange bedfellow alliance of Disco Drew and J-Pac, as well as against the head-scratching combination of Kurt Angle and Eugene. The match was brought to a conclusion when Typhoon power-pressed Disco Drew over his head, only to have J-Pac set up a table for his partner to come crashing through. Dynamite Derek held a public unmasking for his Fest opponent, Dark Dynamite Derek. However, Dynamite was shocked when he discovered that the man under the mask was not the same man he faced at the Fest. This man was none other than "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Dusty told Derek that rather than baskin' and unmaskin' he should be winin' and dinin' with the American Dream. Derek flew away to locate the real Dark Dynamite Derek, while Dusty suggested that everyone dance. With that, IRS, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Tatanka, Gerald Brisco, Jimmy Snuka, Juan Gabriel, Impostor Val Venis, Dark Helmet, and Mike Rotch all entered the ring and began to dance. As the dance party raged on, Iron Sheik appeared at the entrance ramp, contemplated what he was seeing, and finally shouted out "FACK!" Teddy Long announced that coming up, they would have a 20-man Battle Royal with the winner being able to reach into Teddy Long's Grab Bag! The contest featured the likes of Count Out, Booker T, Kingpin, Junkyard Dog, Big Show, Coach D, Shelton Benjamin, British Bulldog, Rey Mysterio, Lex Luger, Iron Sheik, Jimmy Hart, King Hippo, Hollywood Nova, Mark Jindrak, Doug Basham, Chris Masters, Commissioner Slaughter, and Mankind. However, the biggest surprise was the return of the reanimated Orlando Jordan. In the end, it came down to OJ, Mankind, and Slaughter. After Mankind foolishly eliminated himself, Slaughter took advantage of OJ's befuddlement and eliminated him. The Commissioner happily reached into Teddy Long's Grab Bag, only to pull out a certificate for a free spa day....WITH DAH UNDERTAKAH! Walter arrived at the arena to meet with Heidenreich, who informed him that he found the culprit behind the senseless pranks on him. Heidenreich opened a closet door to reveal Michael Cole with a gag ball in his mouth. Walter cringed, but thanked Heidenreich for his help anyway. Walter then proceeded to walk outside, only to be bombarded by a barrage of water balloons. By the time he collected himself, the assailant had vanished. In a Champion vs. Champion match, WWE Champion Carlito faced off against new World Heavyweight Champion DEFAULT. The seemingly unbeatable Carlito put up a good fight, but was bested by the Fearsome Freak. After the match, however, a masked man jumped from one of the upper levels of the arena after shouting out "Sic semper DEFAULTUS!" In the main event of the evening, "Macho Man" Randy Savage teamed with prodigy Tiger to take on DCR and JBL. Although a relatively back and forth contest, Savage eventually picked up the win with a patented elbow drop. After the match had concluded, Macho and Tiger stripped DCR and JBL down to their underwear, tied them to chairs, and made them watch as the two of them played Mario Party. After torturing the Wall Street Wretches, Macho and Tiger had them hogtied to the back of their own limousine, which had been commandeered by Orlando Jordan. The limo drove through the night, Macho Man standing up through the sunroof while wagging his tongue like a dog.